The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Facing Reality

2009-05-19T01:37:00.002+02:00

Just when I'd settled down here, we're moving again. Jon used to share this apartment with some friends, who moved out when I moved in, and we decided to stay here until the contract ran out- but it's too big and way too expensive for us. We found a new place at Solsiden, one of the best areas to live in here in Trondheim, and in a few days, we're moving in. I'm looking forward to it-starting over, a new life in a new place. After constantly being moved around as a child, I've come to love moving. I just hope the next time we move, the destination will be Bergen...

Oh, Forgot

2009-05-12T14:18:00.002+02:00

I guess I should apologize for neglecting my blog completely for months. Actually, that is kind of pointless, as my few readers must have given up on me long ago, and no one will read this apology.

I don't even have a very good excuse- or, my beloved cat died, so cut me a tiny bit of slack.

What am I Going to Do Now?

2009-05-12T14:17:00.003+02:00

The university spring semester is over (for me, anyway), and now I don't have anything meaningful to do until school starts again in August. I should devote myself to housework- I'm extremely lazy in that area, which annoys my boyfriend, and if I turned into a domestic goddess, he might start buying me presents, like that Chanel eyeshadow quartet I've made it clear would be the perfect gift. But, although I will try to make an effort with the housework, I can't devote myself to it, I'd end up like that "Desperate housewife" who killed herself.

I'll also start taking exercise as seriously as I used to, which means at least 1 hours of cardio at least 5 times a week. But, that won't fill up my schedule either.

So, I've been thinking about trying to write again. I've written short stories since I was about six years old, writing both as a hobby and as a professional (working as a journalist)- I even wrote the first 60-70 pages of a novel when I was 19. However, over the last 4-5 years, I've written a lot less than I used to- I became so critical to my work (deleted/burned the novel attempt and loads of short stories), I was convinced I lacked any talent, and that writing would never lead anywhere. What I forgot was how I use to write just because it was fun- not for any other purpose. So, I've decided to give writing a go. Actually, I might try to write a novel. A got a good start today, I've written two pages of what might become just a short story, or develop into a novel. I don't dare to hope to get it published, but I will indeed have something meaningful and fun to do over the summer, and writing ensures that I keep my brain in shape until I start studying again.

The tone and themes in my written work will as always be hardcore social realism- sex, drugs, rock'n roll with, now when I've experienced true love, some romance.

After What Have Seemed Like a Lifetime...

2009-02-25T01:36:00.002+01:00

...I finally get to see Mr.Right again- in less than 9 hours, I'll be in his arms again, I'm going up north to visit him in what will soon be my new hometown.

It's been almost three weeks since the last time I saw him, and it's been hell- we're definitely not one of the couples who can manage long-distance relationships. I'm going to stay in Trondheim for two weeks- then it's back home to pack up my things, as I'm moving around the middle of April.

I'd promised myself to lose as much weight as possible during the weeks we've spent apart, so that I'd be a slimmer, and therefore improved, version of myself when I met him again. That didn't go to well-turns out it's impossible to lose 20 kgs in a few weeks. Who would have guessed? I've actually not even managed to get my roots done during time, I'm hoping he's still blinded by love and won't notice that I don't look, well, I'll probably not get showered with offers from modelling agencies in the near future- or ever. Thankfully, Mr.Right is not as vain as me.

I'm meeting my sister-in law properly for the first time tomorrow, I'm so excited. We've met briefly at a party before, and talked on msn, but now I can get to really know her. My impression so far is that she's a really great girl, so I can't wait! I really hope we'll get along, I don't know many people in Trondheim, only Mr. Right and a fellow friend of us (the person who's responsible for Mr.Right and I getting to know each other in the first place, I owe him a lot).

He's Spoiling Me

2009-02-20T18:12:00.002+01:00

My boyfriend likes to do things his own way- so instead of flowers on Valentine's day, I got some yesterday-appearantly for no reason at all, other than that he loved me. Imagine what he will get me when he actually have a reason for doing so...:D Anyway, I got a gorgeus bouquete and a vase- as he remembered that I only have one vase, and it's too small for anything but a single flower. What melted my heart was the message on the card- too personal to share with you, let's just say my man's got a way with words!

Why I Love the L Word

2009-02-17T22:16:00.002+01:00

Now Max,the transsexual girl/boy, has become pregnant with his/her gay lover. I want to meet the person who thought up that storyline.

But, the L Word is actually a really good show about a group of lesbians in Los Angeles. The writers/producers ignores all the taboos that normally limits American shows, it's groundbreaking.

I turn gay for about 45 minutes each time I watch an episode. All those explicit sex-scenes makes me forget that I prefer men. We've all experimented, or thought about experimenting, but I have to face it- I'm a boring heterosexual woman.

I Feel Trapped

2009-02-17T14:18:00.003+01:00

I'm stuck. I'm so behind at school, and after the disatrous last semester, I really need to get good grades this spring. But I just can't get started- I can't even find the books I need in my over-stocked book shelf.

Maybe I just just start working in a grocery store and never think about studying again, But I'd probaby kill myself, I almost got suicidal from my part-time job at a grocery store while I was in high school.

Can't.Stop.Typing!

2009-02-17T02:04:00.002+01:00

ADHD is a strange disorder- even though those of us who suffers from it tend to have trouble focusing and getting things done, we can, especially if something interests and excites us, start to "hyperfocus"-if we do, we can actually focus and consentrate even better than "normal people". We can actually end up almost obsessed with what we're doing, to the point where we can't stop- like a Speed freak who plays the Sims for 10 hours straight. I've been hyperfocusing on bloggging today, and written about 40 posts for both this blog and my fashion blog. I just felt so inspired today, and new topics I just HAD to write about kept popping up in my head. I've started on other projects today too, but sooner or later, I went back to blogger.com to write yet another post. It's almost scary. If I can get this obsessed over my blogs, I could probably become pretty good at, for an example, stalking people. If Mr.Right dumps me, I'll probably become a real bunny-boiler. I'll let him know, nothing says "I love you" like threatening to kill his pets if he ever realizes that he's too good for me and leaves me. I'll just have to scare him into staying with me. Muhahahaha!

Courtney, I Love You!

2009-02-16T23:17:00.005+01:00

Courtney Love was (to a lot of people's surprise) named women of the year earlier this month at the ELLE Style Awards. I read the interview in ELLE UK's january issue, and fell in love with her all over again. She's gone from train wreck to superstar once again- Love's public life has been an endless roller coaster since she became famous, mostly for being Kurt Cobain's girlfriend. But Courtney Love does not only have a fondness for hard drugs and an attitude, she's got style and guts to stand for it. She's been to hell and back, and still, at the age of 44, she's on top of the world- her interview in ELLE was great, Love really had a lot of smart and insightful things to say, and, allow me to be superficial- she looked soooo good, better than ever before. If this is what a heavy drug addiction and childbirth results in, then sign me up!

Bad jokes aside, let's remember that Courtney is not just a junkie, a fashionista, a mother- she's a musician. And a truly gifted one as well. Remember this old Hole song? Just as great as back when it was first released- this is a classic that belongs in your Itunes library.

All Grown Up

2009-02-16T20:47:00.005+01:00

As I'm taking a few giant steps towards adulthood soon, I had to do something I've never done before, something that everyone else have done, and even are doing on a regular basis. I ordered Pizza! It was amazing- they brought pizza and Oreo Cake to my door, I didn't have to go out, not cook anything- my only task was to indulge in food that normally is off-limits for me- and I enjoyed every sinful bite (even though my elliptical machine was giving me glances- They said: "guess how many hours on me you have to go through to make up for this"?)

So, what steps am I taking towards adulthood? Well...I'm leaving Bergen, the city I've come to love more than any place I've ever lived, the place I, after growing up in a family that was always on the move, call "home". Sorry Bergen, we've had a good time, but I'm leaving you for another city- a city I've never had any desire to live in before, a city who's inhabitants have the ugliest dialect in Norway, a city people describe as "much like a small town". I've spent my whole life hating, and trying to get away from, small towns.

So, I guess you've figured out why I'm leaving the city I love, and you're right- it's because of Mr. Right. He was making plans to move to Bergen, but in the economical climate we're experiencing now, he would have a hard time getting a job here in Bergen- at least a job as good as the one he has in Trondheim. It will be easier for me to have a long-distance-relationship with the University here in Bergen (I never go to lectures and seminars anyway) than to have a long-distance-relationship with Mr. Right. Which is why I, a few hours before he was about to leave after his stay here, made the big, scary decision: I told Mr. Right I was coming to Trondheim to live with him. And the look on his face assured me that I'd made the right decision.

It's not for ever, we're moving back here in a year or so (I have to be here the last year of my degree), and Trondheim is not that bad- it's the 3rd biggest city in Norway, which still makes it tiny by international standards, but probably big enough- I survived two years in a place (not even a town. A place) with 6000 inhabitants (all sheep farmers who hated "weird city people" like me and my family)- I can survive anywhere. As long as I'm with Mr.Right, that is.

And think about what a weapon I'm getting!

Mr.Right: Ingvild, you promised to clean days ago

Me: I moved here for you!!!

Mr.Right: Ok, sorry, I will do the cleaning. Do you want me to go out and get you the latest VOGUE and loads of Oreo Cake? As it is your fantasy, the cake is actually calorie-free now. And you can eat it of my naked chest. Oh, and I transferred my salary to your "decadence"account, buy yourself some new shoes.

Ahhh....by the way, I know I keep mentioning Oreo Cake. I've got a slight obsession with it- any one's who's ever tasted it will understand why. And as Mr. Right and I ate Oreo Cake all the time while he was here, it is now connected to him, which of course makes me want it even more.

Hmmm. If I actually open a "decadence" bank account, will I manage to somehow trick him into transferring all his money to it? If I play the "I sacrificed everything and moved here for you"-card right, it might work...

Stay in Your Cage, Girl!

2009-02-16T19:50:00.005+01:00

Jezebel always provides us with sassy, fun and really smart comments on everything from Kate Moss's baby bump to feminism and other political issues. This is the work of a genius.

Just keep this in mind, girls: You're bound to fail if you try to reach beyond the limits society has put up for you. Keep counting calories (because the most important is to be skinny) and looking pretty, then you might find that rich husband who will give you everything you need (except for maybe intellectual stimulation), like keeping your big walk-in-closet up to date. Remember- you will never be president of the U.S, but you can become a 1st lady and be a fashion icon!

PS: Don't read books. It's bad for your (tiny) brain (as my sister in-law reminded me that some genius have said). If you insist on reading books, make sure the cover of the book is pink and the main theme is shopping addiction. Even better, stick to good, motivational web sites like TheSkinnyWebsite, where you can participate in good discussions about topics like "Have Audrina from The Hills gained weight?". Who needs books?

PS2: Read books, try to be everything you dream about becoming, dare to be angry, demanding- even (gasp) ugly! Have your Oreo Dream Cake and eat it too(and enjoy every sinful calorie), because we no longer live in a world where a girl have to settle for less than everything she wants!

I Want His Brain

2009-02-16T16:21:00.003+01:00

Frank Rich never disappoints me. I want his head in a jar, Futurama-style, to put on my desk. Then, he can entertain me and tell me how I can make my analysis of Mrs.Dalloway groundbreaking instead of boring. God, there's been written more analyses of that novel than of, well, the Obama government! How can I compete when people with . have actually written books about that novel?

What was I saying again? Oh, right. Frank Rich is cool. We love Frank Rich. In a strictly platonic way of course (disclaimer aimed at Mr.Right).

Romance (skip this if you' are still feeling sick from the first post)

2009-02-16T15:15:00.007+01:00

The Monday morning a few weeks ago I just can't forget:

Me: What are you thinking about?'

Him: About what we talked about, saying "I love you" too soon...

Me: I've been wanting to say it...

Him: Me too...

Me: I think I love you... (heart pounding, voice shaky)

Him: I think I love you too....

Since then, we've dropped the "think", and now tell each other we love each other about 40 times a day, just in case one of us should forget.

By the way, it has to be mentioned that I, the night before, played "Something Stupid" by Frank Sinatra for him, a not-so-subtle hint about what I wanted to say to him But, as he's a guy, and therefore just don't do hints, he didn't have a clue. I still got to experience the most romantic moment of my life the very next day. I've said those words before, but I realize know that I haven't meant it before- actually, I didn't have a clue about what it's like to love someone before I fell head over heels for Mr.Right.

Edit: Turned out Mr.Right had a clue about what was going on, but not sure what I meant- after all, the song is about someone who "spoils it all by saying something stupid like I love you". I didn't even realize that the song could have another meaning. Damn, this means that Mr.Right is both the pretty one and the smart one in this relationship.

Unbearable Happiness...

2009-02-16T14:06:00.005+01:00

...unbearable for everyone except for my new boyfriend and I. My last blog was an endless tale of depression, bitterness and disappointment, now I'm in love- with my boyfriend AND life!

I've been single for years, and had gotten used to it- of course I sometimes wished I had someone to share my life with, but I' stopped believing I'd meet Mr.Right, even Mr.Right now. I actually thought I'd lost the ability to fall in love! And my ex-boyfriends have been, well, at best really boring- but often worse, like the unstable, unreliable alcoholic or the complete psychopath with a fondness for abusing his girlfriends in any way he could think of (and he was creative). Is it any wonder that I'd settled for a life as a slightly less funny and a lot more tragic Bridget Jones?

So, when I went up north to spend Christmas with my mother this year, I didn't expect anything but boredom. Then, after spending a week in bed with my phone off, I switched it on again, and got a text a few minutes later, inviting me to a party- at the house of a guy I've always had a weak spot for. I don't know what came over me, but I decided to go to the party, and I was going to hit on this guy, I had nothing to lose, right? I came, I saw, and I won the heart of the guy I now consider the man for me. I love him, and he feels the same way- could life get any better?

Love has transformed me- I've gone from deep, dark and a bit sad, to this super-happy girl, who's sharp comments have been replaced with giggling. I'm giggling!!!! I didn't knew I had it in me! :D

It's been more than 1,5 months, and I'm still on cloud nine. He lives in another city, and we've had to communicate through phone and msn messenger most of the time- except for the 10 days he spent with me here in Bergen- what we both consider the best 10 days of our lives. And if our plans don't go terribly wrong, I won't have to rely on msn to spend quality time with my Mr.Right,

I've become one of those annoying girls I used to hate, a girl someone might call "bubbly" when I'm at my worst (!!!!!), and I'm part of the most annoyingly cute couple in history. Life is not giving me lemons anymore, it's finally my turn to be happy! And after being unhappy for so long, I seem to have become the happiest person in the world. But then again, everyone who's ever known me knows that even "too much" isn't good enough for me, I'm all about the extremes.

We've even quit smoking together. I was a 40-a-day chain smoker, now I'm as fresh and clean as a teenage Britney Spears. I'm actually worried about my long, black hair going blond while I sleep, to match this new personality. On yeah, I sleep! The insomniac who didn't even get a decent night's sleep when popping roofies, is now actually getting her 10 hours. People even keep telling me that I'm "glowing"...

Enough said? Are you feeling sick yet? Because even I'm a bit sick of myself at this point. Most of my friends have tried to be supportive (after coming over the fear when they realized I'd gone through a personality transplant and been replaced by bubbly girl), but I think I'm pushing them towards their limit.

PS: To all my friends: I promise to try and stop being "bubbly" and come down to earth again...soon. The cynical, sarcastic Ingvild with the cruel jokes and dry wit is still inside of me somewhere! Please don't give up on me just yet!

PS2: Hi, welcome to my new blog, enjoy my endless rants about myself (and now probably also about Mr.Right) Expect a lot of self-indulgence, quite a few nasty remarks about people who deserve it, and some just as nasty remarks about people who actually don't deserve it. After all, I am still me , underneath all this happiness. I was raised as an elitist, arrogant bitch, and even though Mr. Right (who is one of those truly GOOD persons) already has made me, and will continue to make me, a better person, a girl can only change so much- even though I'm a bit worried, my loneliness and bitterness fueled a lot of my mean, but entertaining jokes. What if I'm now only capable of...giggling?